How You Can Respectfully Attend & Support Your Friends At Pride
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Guest blog by Gabby Mata
Pride Month is both a celebration of our identities and a reminder that we still fight for our place in the world. It’s a happy place that reminds you of all the hard work our predecessors did for our liberation. From Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera at Stonewall to the 1980s AIDS Crisis, to Marriage Equality, we couldn’t have done it without the love and support of the people around us. That includes our cis straight allies that fought beside us along the way. Though the work is not done yet and the fight continues, we can take time to celebrate together during Pride events.
There’s a lot to take in and, don’t worry, I am going to prepare you to make your attendance at Pride not only successful, but also supportive. I’ll answer some questions and give you the resources so you’re a superstar ally for your friends and family. Here are five things you can do to be a better ally at Pride:
How You Can Respectfully Attend & Support Your Friends at Pride
Be Sure of your Intention
Before you go, I’m going to need you to take a deep breath and relax. You’re probably excited to celebrate with your friends and family, but make sure you know your intentions before heading out. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Do you have good intentions?
You’re going to support your loved ones or best friends and it’s important for them. I know it sounds silly—of course, you have good intentions! It's just something that you need to make sure you know, as well.
Do you plan to take care of not only yourself but also your friends?
Most Pride events take place outside and that means you’ll be in the sun and, when people are having fun, sometimes they forget to reapply sunscreen or hydrate. Remind them. Also, if need be, step up and be the designated driver or organize a ride share to make sure everyone gets home safely. Let your friends hang loose and enjoy themselves without having to worry. Trust me, they’ll thank you.
Lastly, are you educated on LGBTQIA+ history and the reason why we celebrate?
If not, check out the book A Queer History of the United States by Michael Bronski or, a great list of documentaries will help answer some of your questions. You’re going to see a whole new side of the world and potentially see some nudity. Sexual liberation is important, so much so that it was part of the original flag. What better way to be an LGBTQIA+ ally than to prepare before heading out?
Also, be aware of the damages of rainbow capitalism and look for queer and ethical brands to support during this time. Especially if you’re looking for attire to wear during Pride.
Acknowledge your Privilege, Use It, and Continue to Do So Even After Pride
Pride is going to be one of the few times that you’ll be the minority. With less than 4% of the US population identifying as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, the event will probably be overwhelming if you’re not ready. That’s okay, but with that being said, even though you’re a guest, you still have a sort of privilege over a lot of people there.
““Be sure to use [your privilege] wisely. Be a buffer between your friends and potential protestors. As an ally, you should be doing the work often. Remember, you have the luxury of shutting off allyship when you’re tired. For some of the members of our community, they face challenges like homelessness and other forms of danger.””
Be sure to use that wisely. Be a buffer between your friends and potential protestors. As an ally, you should be doing the work often. Remember, you have the luxury of shutting off allyship when you’re tired. For some of the members of our community, they face challenges like homelessness and other forms of danger.
That’s why it’s important to be involved the rest of the year, too. Your city might have a queer youth organization for you to get involved with or, you can check out the Trevor Project as well for additional volunteer opportunities. Locate local neighborhood food pantries or set one up yourself and contribute to mutual aid organizations that work with BIPOC LGBTQIA+.
One last note, do this for yourself and for your community. Don’t do it with the intention of garnering points with your friends or bragging about it on social media. We have the power to help our communities and empower our Queer and Trans youth.
Be Mindful of Photography
There will be various forms of sexual and gender expression, kinks, and other forms of gender non-conforming at Pride. As a child, your parents taught you not to stare—bring that same energy here. This isn’t an event for you to grab pictures of people without permission or to center yourself as the main character. Here are some questions to ponder before deciding on where to capture the moment:
Are you looking for photos for the ‘gram?
Don’t worry, you can definitely take pictures, but if you’re planning to treat this like Coachella or Burning Man, then this event is not for you. Instead, offer yourself to be the photographer for all your friend groups. Capture every look they serve and make all the best memories.
Are you planning on sharing those images with anyone (other than yourself or the person you captured)?
Do you think it’s polite to capture them and share them on your social media, as if you were a tourist on vacation? I would say if you see something beautiful—capture it—and then ask the person if you can Airdrop it to them.
Language is Important
You might have seen pronouns everywhere and some people might suggest you start introducing yourself with your pronouns. Not gonna lie, it can sound a little awkward. Some folks might be wearing patches or pins with their pronouns and you can, too! If not, default to they/them pronouns. It saves you from potentially misgendering someone. If you want to learn more about pronouns and neo-pronouns, or practice them on your own time, definitely spend some time researching. I definitely recommend also checking out The Genderbread Person. It explains everything from gender expression to gender identity.
Another thing I want to add is that you might hear people use words that are slurs. Acknowledge that it doesn’t give you the right to use them. Even if your friend gave you the pass, it’s still a slur and some folks are using them to reclaim them and empower themselves.
““Joy is one of the best ways to combat prejudice. So celebrate loudly with us.””
Have Fun!
I mean it, have fun. Joy is one of the best ways to combat prejudice. So celebrate loudly with us. Dress up in bright colors and get ready for Pride. It’s a time to acknowledge all the hard work and dedication that the generations of the alphabet mafia did before us. Look for a Pride event near you or, if you want to travel and experience Pride internationally, as well. A quick Google search will also find local Pride events that are geared towards LGBTQIA+ families, youth and children. There really isn’t a dedicated site for this as it varies from city to city! If there isn’t one near you, see if you can get involved and create one, but be mindful not to speak over queer voices.